“My father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will.” Matthew 26:39 NIV
Lord, when I heard your call, I was excited and a little scared. I knew you were calling me to greatness, not so that I could receive the glory but so that you could. I felt honored and blessed. I forged ahead not realizing exactly what your plans entailed.
I expected things to happen immediately. I expected an always smooth path. I expected complete clarity. However, as I went along, I realized that I had to wait, and wait, and wait, and wait. As I waited I became anxious and unsure. Did I hear you right? Maybe, I just needed to move things along a little faster for you. Maybe, you forgot about me. None of these things were true. What I had to understand was that there were preparations that needed to be made and things that I needed to learn while I waited.
Deep inside, I think I knew this but I didn’t want to go through the hard stuff. I didn’t want to go through rejection and strange looks from other people. Why couldn’t I accomplish your plans and remain normal? Why did I have to learn how to forgive? Why did I have to learn to be humble? Why did I have to learn to overcome my fears? Growing hurts and it’s hard. I wanted to do things my way and reap all of your rewards. I realize that this is impossible.
Lord, I surrender. I will listen when you say stand firm, even though I’m in the middle of a storm. I will be patient when you say be still. I will press forward when you tell me to walk on water, despite how scared I am. I will say what you want me to say and I will trust you. I will forever praise you.
“Many are the plans in a man’s heart but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” Proverbs 19: 21 NIV
Balm 4 the Soul 
This was good Tammy. Thanks for sharing. It is so hard to wait , but look at the
blessing (s) one gets when we wait. God is GOOD all the time.