“For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38-39 NIV
I missed you, Lord. I didn’t know if you were still listening to me anymore. I felt so alone. I prayed. I begged. I pleaded. I fasted and yet, my situation never got better, it only got worse. There were times when I wasn’t sure if I was truly thankful to have woken up in the morning. Your silence was as painful as what I was going through. I thought, how could you abandon me during one of the worst times of my life.
Finally, the thing I feared and prayed to avoid happened. “Where are you,” I cried out. “Did I offend you in some way that you would allow this to happen to me? Did I pray right? Did I fast enough?” My grief was so bad that I just couldn’t think straight anymore–maybe that’s why I can’t hear you.
Eventually, I heard a whisper. You were still with me. I couldn’t see or feel you then but now I know. I was never alone. When I didn’t think I had the strength to hold on another day but somehow I made it through, I know that was you. When I cried alone at night, it was you who heard me. It was you who would urge someone, who didn’t even know what I was going through, to give me a word of encouragement or a hug.
Even though you didn’t answer my prayers the way I wanted them answered, you still heard and answered. The answers were according to your will, which is perfect.
We may not always know the why behind the what but we can be sure that it is always in your hands, Lord. There is no darkness that your light can’t penetrate, no enemy that you can’t defeat, no sickness that you can’t heal, no broken heart that you can’t comfort. We just need to trust you. To be perfectly honest, the hardest thing to do when you’re going through something is to give up the illusion that you’re in control. How great you are, Lord, that even in the midst of our troubles, you still bless us and that your arms are always open and patiently waiting for us. It’s good to be back, Lord.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9 NIV