What Time I Am Afraid by Tammy Nicole Glover

What Time I Am Afraid by Tammy Nicole Glover

“What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.” Psalm 56:3 KJV

You told me to follow You and I galloped towards Your outstretched hand. I was sure I would land on my feet, but instead, I fell on my back. I looked up and was surrounded by darkness. It was no ordinary darkness. It was suffocating. I couldn’t even see my hand lifted in front of my face. The pain was excruciating. My whole body hurt. It hurt to even cry, yet I couldn’t control my tears. “

What did I do wrong, Lord? You told me to follow You and I did. Why didn’t You catch me? Why am I blind?”

I hear you whisper, “trust me.”

“Trust You,” I say. “I trusted You but fell. I’m in pain…in the dark…alone.”

“I Am with you,” You say.

“Really?”

“Who or what else do you have to trust,” You ask.

I think about it for a moment. It’s true. I have no one else but God. He is the only one that even knows where I am. He created the path I’m on. His way is perfect. He is perfect. I am only the created thing. I can’t even fathom the Creator’s simplest thoughts.

I take a deep breath and brace myself for the pain of getting back up. My body is broken, so I can no longer gallop. I can only limp towards His voice. However, as I keep moving forward, I feel strength returning to my legs.

“Keep going,” He says. “You’re almost there.”

I find myself limping a little less.

“I know the plans I have for you,” He says. “All of this is working for your good. Don’t be discouraged or afraid, but be strong and courageous.”

I look down, and His words begin to light my path. I keep moving even though I don’t understand. My God, I can finally see the sunlight up ahead. As I step into the light, I realize I’m not the same.

“I had to make you stronger for the task ahead. You were not ready,” He says. “I had to keep you in the dark because if you were able to see the enemy surrounding you, you would have surely fainted.”

“Wait, that wasn’t the task? There’s more to do?”

“Look up,” He said.

I look up to see a great mountain before me. I gulp and wipe the sweat off my brow.

“As long as You’re with me, Lord, I will trust You.”

My Story from A to Z by Tammy Nicole Glover

My Story from A to Z by Tammy Nicole Glover

Apple of His eye

Before I was formed in my mother’s womb.

Chosen to be His daughter

Destined to serve in His kingdom

Even though He knew I would turn my back on Him.

Fighting to go my own way

Giving in to the lusts of my flesh

Hope faded.

Indescribable pain took residence in my heart

Jeopardizing my eternity.

Keeping my sins hidden left me exhausted

Longing for death, but still longing to be loved.

Moving further away from Light

Not wanting to be seen or heard.

Opening myself to more depression

Purposefully cutting myself off from life.

Questioning, why am I here

Remembering a blessed life with Christ.

Safety, I want to feel safe in His arms again.

Tortured by my past sins, I fear I will never be able to return to Him.

Used and abused by the demons that held me captive

Voiceless

What can I do to escape? I weep and He hears my silent cries

X-ray vision probe my heart. Seeing a heart marred with scars and infested wounds

You, Lord, know how to clean and heal me. I return to You, my Rescuer, my Savior.

Zealously, I will follow You.

Finding My Faith By Tammy Nicole Glover

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 KJV

I know it has been a while since I last posted something. The end of last year and continuing into this year has been quite the roller coaster. I’ve had to face the death of a sister and sister-in-law, caring for an elderly parent alone and relationship issues, personally and professionally. Not to mention adjusting to life during a full blown pandemic. I admit I have been tremendously overwhelmed trying to juggle everything while keeping the façade of being completely in control and calm. If you would have asked me how I’m doing, I would have convincingly told you, I’m fine but all the while I would be in full panic mode because I know at any point one of the balls I’m juggling is going to drop and shatter into a million pieces that can never be put back together again. And one of those balls could very well be my sanity. I found myself angry, depressed and asking God why was He allowing these things to happen to me. Couldn’t He see me drowning out here? Does He love?

It says in Hebrews 11:1 that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” I realized that I was no longer hoping and I wasn’t alone. It seemed like a lot of people around me were no longer hoping either. We were all scared and instead of sitting on the edge of our seats for something amazing to happen, we were bracing ourselves for the next storm. We were losing our faith.

Faith isn’t ignoring or wishing our problems away. It’s not even faking it until we make it. It’s saying, “yes, I see the problem. I see the mountain. It’s scary and painful but God is bigger and I’m going to trust Him to get me through this. It’s probably not going to happen the way I want it to or even when I want it to.”

Faith takes patience and courage but more importantly, it takes humility. I had to admit I wasn’t in control. I was overwhelmed, scared and yes, even angry. I realized that God did see me drowning and His hand was there but I had to let my pride drop and shatter into a million pieces, in order to grab hold of His hand.

Sometimes, I look back at the water below and see sharks swimming towards me because it doesn’t feel like He’s lifting me out fast enough. I may be tempted to let go and figure out a way to get away faster but I have to lift my head back up towards Him. It has taken continual prayer from friends, family and myself to stay in faith. It has also taken spending time alone with God and reading His Word in order to even distinguish His voice from my fears. It has been a difficult and unending journey.

I know I’m not the only one on this journey. We all have moments where our faith may waver. Please feel free to share how you stay in faith. I’m praying for you.

“But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6 KJV

Questions That Can’t Be Asked: A Prayer By Tammy Nicole Glover

Heavenly Father,

I thank You for Your mercy and patience with me. As I sit beside my sister’s hospital bed, watching her fight for her life, I have questions but I can’t ask them. I know that You are able, faithful and good. You are a miracle worker and a way maker but I still have questions that I can’t ask. I know Your Word. I know the elements of faith but in this situation I have questions that I can’t ask.

If You, My Almighty God, would indulge me and allow me to ask, I would of course ask why. My sister gets up at 4:30 a.m. everyday to spend time praising You, praying for others and studying Your Word. I’m ashamed to say but sometimes I get annoyed by how loud she gets when she’s praising You. If this can happen to her, what am I in for? I would ask when is your miracle going to kick in. I would ask, why is it that even though I know how to pray confidently in Your Word, in this situation, sitting beside this hospital bed, my words stumble out or don’t come out at all. I got serious questions, Lord, but I can’t ask them.

I’m supposed to write this blog to encourage others who have questions that they don’t dare ask. I feel like I’m failing in this assignment. Lord, Your people, Your sons and daughters, Your beloved ones have questions that we can’t ask. All we know is that we look to You, the Most High, the Lord Almighty, for strength, comfort and wisdom. We seek Your voice, waiting to hear, “peace, be still,” in our storms.

Thank you, Lord, for hearing and answering our prayers.

“I call on the Lord in my distress, and he answers me.” Psalm 120:1 NIV

 

 

Be Still By Tammy Nicole Glover

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 NIV

Being still seems like it should be such an easy thing to do but have you ever had to be perfectly still for any amount of time and all of a sudden you get an itch? You try to ignore it but the more you try, the stronger the itch gets. Just when you think you can’t take it anymore you’re finally free to move.  Sometimes, it’s like that when God tells us to be still. All of a sudden we get an itch or an urge to do something. The itch could be caused by rumors of possible layoffs, a bad prognosis from the doctor or a troubled relationship. The fear, anxiety and sheer unpleasantness of the situation feels so unbearable we feel like we have to take matters into our own hands and do something but we hear God telling us to be still and know that He is God.

Being still is definitely not for the faint of heart. It requires completely putting your trust in someone we’ve never seen. His power is so miraculous and mysterious that it’s sometimes hard to wrap our heads around the fact that He is, He can and He will. How can we be sure that a power so great truly cares for us? We know because He sacrificed His only Son for us. He not just cares for us, He loves us completely. We are His children and He takes pleasure in taking care of us. If we can just be still in His love we can see mountains move, the dead rise and chains of despair broken.

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” Psalm 37: 7 NIV

A Reminder to My Future Self By Tammy Nicole Glover

“They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair on their heads singed, their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.” Daniel 3:27 NIV

Dear Future Self,

So, another problem popped up and threatens to overcome you. Don’t panic! You’ve been through this before. It may be a different problem that looks bigger but God has not grown smaller, nor has He changed. He is still the Lord God Almighty, who has promised to never leave you nor forsake you. He is still the God who promised to supply all your needs according to His riches in glory. Don’t forget His commandment for you to be strong and courageous. Don’t be afraid or discouraged. He is with you. (Joshua 1:9)

My beloved future self, don’t doubt God’s love you. He has not removed His mighty hand from you. Surely, you can remember how He delivered you from the last crisis. He not only restored you but He placed you in an even better position than before. You were so blessed that you were able to help those around.

Dry your tears and be of good cheer, for Heavenly Father sees all and will answer your call. God is good, faithful and full of endless love and mercy. Now, is not the time to have a pity party. It’s time to praise God for your victory.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” Isaiah 43:2-3 NIV

Doing the Impossible by Tammy Nicole Glover

“With man this is impossible but with God all things are possible.” Matthew 19:26 NIV

When I was younger, I always wanted to be a superhero. Superheroes are fearless, strong and have amazing super powers. They always know exactly what to do and what to say to save the day. Even when it seems as if their enemy has them beat, they never give up. They keep fighting until they have won the battle.

To be honest with you, I never really grew out of that superhero faze. Although, I don’t run around the house with a cape, I still wish I had super powers. When a crisis hits, I feel powerless until I remember the ultimate superhero, Jesus Christ. He not only risked His life for humanity, He actually sacrificed it. He has the power to heal, deliver, comfort and strengthen. What’s even better is that He freely shares His powers with us. There is no sickness, problem or demon in hell that can defeat us when we allow Christ to work through us. With Christ we have the ability to save the day. We can lay hands on the sick and they will be healed. We can cast down demons. We can forgive those who hurt us. We can love as God loves all through the power of Christ who is inside of us.

I may not be Wonder Woman or Supergirl but I am a child of God and that makes me more powerful than any superhero ever created. To God be the glory.

“I can do all this through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 NIV

Well Done By Tammy Nicole Glover

Someone recently shared a beautiful story about what they witnessed at a young man’s funeral. I was given permission to share this story in the hopes that it would encourage others. Losing a loved one can be one of the most emotionally painful things we can experience. It’s especially painful when it’s someone who is young. However, even in the midst of our pain and sadness, God can turn our mourning into joy because He will use what the devil means for evil and turn it around for our good. This is exactly what happened at this funeral.

It was a young man, twenty-nine years old and he was a believer. He was also a musician and he used his gift to spread the love of God. He tragically passed away in an accident and left behind a young daughter but he also left behind a ministry that touched so many lives that he probably never realized. Just like everyone else, he had setbacks and fell down but he always got back up. He never stopped pressing toward the goal which God called him to. It wasn’t his failures that were remembered but how he got back up and allowed God to work in his life. As the pastor spoke  about how this young man lived his life, God moved and spoke to the hearts of the people in attendance. Although, they were celebrating the life of this young man, God got the glory. At the end, the pastor asked if there was anyone who wanted to give their lives to Jesus Christ and about forty people answered the call. People’s hands raised up as if reaching towards heaven for a Loving and Almighty God that is able to deliver, heal and comfort. A God who is willing to accept them where they are and use them to accomplish great things in this world.

Our lives minister to others whether we realize it or not. this story made me ask the question, what is my life ministering. If I were to leave this world today, would my life inspire anyone to give their life to Christ? Have I truly allowed people to see Christ work through me? The purpose of every believer is to bring as many people to Christ and the main way we do that is the way we live our lives. We should all strive to hear God say, “well done, good and faithful servant.”

Can These Bones Live? By Tammy Nicole Glover

“He asked me, ‘Son of Man, can these bones live?’ I said, ‘Sovereign Lord, you alone know.'” Ezekiel 37:3 NIV

Rejection after rejection and heartache after heartache, I felt pieces of me fall away. Every mistake and willful act of disobedience carved more pieces off of me until I was only a pile of dry bones. With my hope long since deteriorated, I let the wind scatter my bones all about the open valley. I thought, surely, God no longer has use for me. I’ll just accept my mediocre existence in life. I will lie here and wait until the wind carries my bones away. But God…

God looked at my brittle, scattered bones and saw an opportunity to rebuild and restore. He saw another one of His masterpieces. “No, Satan, you can not have my daughter,” He said. “She is my chosen servant whom I have not rejected. Before she was born I appointed her to be a light in the darkness. I called her to spread My Word. I called her to show the world My love.”

The Lord’s hand came upon me and He said to me, ” arise, My beloved daughter. Come to life.”

There is nothing impossible for God, not even death. Don’t give up on any of His promises. It doesn’t matter how many times you have fallen or what anyone says about you. God is the God of Resurrection. He will restore you and your dreams.

“This is what the Sovereign Lord says to these bones: I will make breath enter you and you will come to life. I will attach tendons to you and make flesh come upon you and cover you with skin; I will put breath in you, and you will come to life. Then you will know that I am the Lord.” Ezekiel 37:5-6 NIV