anxiety – Balm 4 the Soul

He Watches Me by Tammy Nicole Glover

April 17, 2023April 17, 2023by balm4thesoulLeave a Comment

“Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?” Matthew 6:26 KJV

I woke up this morning at four o’clock. It seemed to be for no other reason than my bladder holding me hostage from sleep. I dragged myself to the bathroom and my mind immediately started to flood with worries. I could feel my chest tighten and my breathing become labored. Anxiety was rearing its ugly head. I took a few breaths and told anxiety, “not today, in the name of Jesus.” Outside, I could hear birds chirping away. The sun wasn’t even up yet but they seemed to be singing praises to God.

I remembered just three years ago, waking up at 4am. Instead of hearing birds chirping, I heard satan’s lies. Overcome with depression and anxiety, all I could hear was, “you’ll never get out of this situation. You would be better off dead.”

I was so deep in sin and so far away from God, it was easy to believe the lies. At that point, I thought God hated me. I believed if I died, I would be in peace. Mercifully, God was still watching me. One day, I heard His voice telling me to repent and be baptized in His name. There is no peace apart from Jesus. I realized He still loved me.

Love isn’t seeing someone walking towards the edge of a cliff and looking the other direction because that’s what they want, and it seems to make them happy. I was at the edge of a cliff. I thought falling off would make me happy. Instead of looking the other direction, Jesus called me, and I answered.

Now today, at four in the morning, satan is still trying to convince me to kill myself, but this time, spiritually. The difference this morning, is I’m baptized in the name of Jesus, filled with His Spirit and I have a heart to serve Him and be Holy. This morning, the still small voice of Jesus inside me is louder than the enemy’s. I clearly hear Jesus saying, “I am in the midst of you, daughter. Abide in me and I will abide in you. Apart from me, you can do nothing, but in me nothing is impossible.”

God’s eye is indeed on the sparrow. I know He not only watches me, but He is in me. I hear the birds praising God in the darkness and I’m praising along with them.

encouragement, inspiration

Finding My Faith By Tammy Nicole Glover

April 27, 2020May 1, 2020by balm4thesoulLeave a Comment

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 KJV

I know it has been a while since I last posted something. The end of last year and continuing into this year has been quite the roller coaster. I’ve had to face the death of a sister and sister-in-law, caring for an elderly parent alone and relationship issues, personally and professionally. Not to mention adjusting to life during a full blown pandemic. I admit I have been tremendously overwhelmed trying to juggle everything while keeping the façade of being completely in control and calm. If you would have asked me how I’m doing, I would have convincingly told you, I’m fine but all the while I would be in full panic mode because I know at any point one of the balls I’m juggling is going to drop and shatter into a million pieces that can never be put back together again. And one of those balls could very well be my sanity. I found myself angry, depressed and asking God why was He allowing these things to happen to me. Couldn’t He see me drowning out here? Does He love?

It says in Hebrews 11:1 that “faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” I realized that I was no longer hoping and I wasn’t alone. It seemed like a lot of people around me were no longer hoping either. We were all scared and instead of sitting on the edge of our seats for something amazing to happen, we were bracing ourselves for the next storm. We were losing our faith.

Faith isn’t ignoring or wishing our problems away. It’s not even faking it until we make it. It’s saying, “yes, I see the problem. I see the mountain. It’s scary and painful but God is bigger and I’m going to trust Him to get me through this. It’s probably not going to happen the way I want it to or even when I want it to.”

Faith takes patience and courage but more importantly, it takes humility. I had to admit I wasn’t in control. I was overwhelmed, scared and yes, even angry. I realized that God did see me drowning and His hand was there but I had to let my pride drop and shatter into a million pieces, in order to grab hold of His hand.

Sometimes, I look back at the water below and see sharks swimming towards me because it doesn’t feel like He’s lifting me out fast enough. I may be tempted to let go and figure out a way to get away faster but I have to lift my head back up towards Him. It has taken continual prayer from friends, family and myself to stay in faith. It has also taken spending time alone with God and reading His Word in order to even distinguish His voice from my fears. It has been a difficult and unending journey.

I know I’m not the only one on this journey. We all have moments where our faith may waver. Please feel free to share how you stay in faith. I’m praying for you.

“But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him.” Hebrews 11:6 KJV

encouragement, inspiration, Uncategorized

Be Still By Tammy Nicole Glover

August 30, 2018August 30, 2018by balm4thesoul4 Comments

“Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10 NIV

Being still seems like it should be such an easy thing to do but have you ever had to be perfectly still for any amount of time and all of a sudden you get an itch? You try to ignore it but the more you try, the stronger the itch gets. Just when you think you can’t take it anymore you’re finally free to move. Sometimes, it’s like that when God tells us to be still. All of a sudden we get an itch or an urge to do something. The itch could be caused by rumors of possible layoffs, a bad prognosis from the doctor or a troubled relationship. The fear, anxiety and sheer unpleasantness of the situation feels so unbearable we feel like we have to take matters into our own hands and do something but we hear God telling us to be still and know that He is God.

Being still is definitely not for the faint of heart. It requires completely putting your trust in someone we’ve never seen. His power is so miraculous and mysterious that it’s sometimes hard to wrap our heads around the fact that He is, He can and He will. How can we be sure that a power so great truly cares for us? We know because He sacrificed His only Son for us. He not just cares for us, He loves us completely. We are His children and He takes pleasure in taking care of us. If we can just be still in His love we can see mountains move, the dead rise and chains of despair broken.

“Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him.” Psalm 37: 7 NIV

encouragement, inspiration, Uncategorized

A Reminder to My Future Self By Tammy Nicole Glover

May 29, 2018by balm4thesoul2 Comments

“They saw that the fire had not harmed their bodies, nor was a hair on their heads singed, their robes were not scorched, and there was no smell of fire on them.” Daniel 3:27 NIV

Dear Future Self,

So, another problem popped up and threatens to overcome you. Don’t panic! You’ve been through this before. It may be a different problem that looks bigger but God has not grown smaller, nor has He changed. He is still the Lord God Almighty, who has promised to never leave you nor forsake you. He is still the God who promised to supply all your needs according to His riches in glory. Don’t forget His commandment for you to be strong and courageous. Don’t be afraid or discouraged. He is with you. (Joshua 1:9)

My beloved future self, don’t doubt God’s love you. He has not removed His mighty hand from you. Surely, you can remember how He delivered you from the last crisis. He not only restored you but He placed you in an even better position than before. You were so blessed that you were able to help those around.

Dry your tears and be of good cheer, for Heavenly Father sees all and will answer your call. God is good, faithful and full of endless love and mercy. Now, is not the time to have a pity party. It’s time to praise God for your victory.

“When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.” Isaiah 43:2-3 NIV

encouragement, Uncategorized

Time Stealer

November 1, 2017November 1, 2017by balm4thesoulLeave a Comment

I take my prayer time very seriously. In that time, I’m restored. My tank is refilled with love and encouragement. I receive wisdom and clarity. Not to mention, all of the people I help by praying on their behalf.

Lately, I find that my precious prayer time is being stolen. The culprit: worry. Instead of focusing on a Mighty God, I find myself focusing on mounting problem. Instead of thanking God for His blessings, I’m trying to find solutions to every real and perceived crisis that keeps popping up. When I realize what’s happening, I cast my cares on to the Lord but foolishly I pick them right back up and play with them in my mind. Before I know it, I’ve spent 30 minutes worrying instead of praying. I end up exhausted and feeling stressed and hopeless.

What does it take to get through my thick skull that God has me covered? He already has my problems figured out. There is nothing too big for Him. It’s time to reclaim what has been stolen. It’s time to give God praise for the victory.

“Can any one of you by worry add a single hour to your life?” Matthew 6:27 NIV